XII/97. How I Fight: Attitude
My attitude is so strong it will be the last part of me to die.
There is risk in almost everything we do. Some can be measured or predicted, while some is random and surprising. It is also usually possible to reduce risk by taking precautions, or to increase it in search of adventure or greater reward. Understanding and controlling risk can add to the quality of our lives. Aggressive and self-confident attitudes in the face of risk are strong cancer-fighting weapons.
––John Roberts
There is the thrill of living “to the fullest,” taking chances, enjoying challenge and the rush of adrenalin. Seeing life as an adventure is like that. It is living life by taking risks, even risking life, and thrilling in that sense of skill and uncertainty. It is certainly not an image for everyone. But for those who see life this way, there may be no other way to live. Everything else is boring and tedious. And unlike life as art or as literature, life as adventure never plans a proper ending.
When it’s over, it’s just––over.
––Robert C. Solomon, The Big Questions, 1990
The will to do, the soul to dare.
––Sir Walter Scott
Always make a total effort, even when the odds are against you.
––Arnold Palmer
In the end, what we regret most are the chances we never took.
––Kelsey Grammer (Frazier, Last TV Show, 2004, 11 years)
You think we do this kind of work because we’re scared to die?
––Gunfighter in: Robert B. Parker, Appaloosa, 2006
The Wild Man experience produces an attitude, and this attitude is a threat to all that is evil. The person who is wild has the attitude that he is not an easy prey. He ceases to be lugubrious and begins to become a lion. He becomes a hazard to cultural constructs that would keep him, those he loves and all mankind dumb and down.
––Doug Giles, Author: The Bulldog Attitude
I have usually dealt with life and now fight cancer with the same aggressive and confident attitude that impelled me to become a fighter pilot, volunteer for a couple of combat tours, and engage in a variety of aggressive sports and other activities most of my long life. Clinging to the icy wall of a mountain and loving the view or hurtling alone down the bobsled run at St. Moritz requires a certain attitude if you are going to enjoy it. I have made mistakes in trying to adjust my many risks with the potential reward, but I have had wonderful opportunities to overcome the fearful insecurities of my childhood, enjoy an adventurous and rewarding life, and build the strengths to overcome problems and fight cancer. Now, I need my fighting spirit again: it is still there, in a moderated style, operating quietly but effectively as I pretend to be a nice old guy with not a care or illness in the world. As always, it is not just something to draw upon occasionally, but the necessary and guiding heart just beneath the surface that infuses my overall attitude toward life. It influences everything I do, but I certainly have to temper it in various situations. As we said as flight instructors: it is better to have a student with too much spirit, which we can control, than one with not enough, which we cannot create.
I must repeat what I said in the beginning: I am not asking you to fight the way I do; your illness may prevent you and you don’t have the self-control and killer instinct built into you by the necessities of training and survival that I did; but I hope you can learn something from my forward frame of mind; I am asking you to try to maintain an aggressive and confident attitude, to build your own version of the fighting spirit, because that is what will spread throughout your body and help you succeed in your fight. What you think is what you are. This is not just one of your strengths; it guides all your strengths.
I have led some young fighter pilots in combat whose ordinary demeanor was outwardly modest and quietly confident, not the big talkers and domineering types we might imagine. Yet, in the air, they changed into something quite different, drawing upon hidden steel and fortitude to master the hellish environment of battle. As I came to know them I realized that they had a mighty, yet humble, self-respect and a focused drive to accomplish.
The fighting attitude is not the softness of a cushion in absorbing a blow. It is the internal resistance that generates the equal and opposite reaction of force against the threat. That hidden energy is designed, coiled, and strengthened over time so that it is ready to respond. It takes experience to anticipate the many forms of attack, and it takes judgment and training to build the correct responses. Every defensive team or force has a plan for opposing each offensive strike. Resilience is the pre-built structure that will absorb the attack without collapsing, and the organized, explosive counter-attack. It is the essential merger of defense and offense. It is Thermopylae and UCLA vs. Ohio State with your back against the wall. It is war. That is what fighting cancer demands. The will to win and the will to survive are identical.
Fighting cancer almost certainly includes some failures. We all fail as we go along through life, but most failures are not fatal, just minor roadblocks. We have an attitude and a plan to minimize the damage and step across the setback. With learning and preparation, we should have a process for succeeding in the management of failure. We must understand that there are many kinds of failure, and many stages through which it goes, so we have to have a flexible process that can deal with all these. All plans require a section that plans what to do if the overall plan fails so that the recovery is not a hasty improvisation. Above all, we must not become demoralized when failure occurs, so that the management process is a positive one and success is still the goal.
A positive attitude requires more than the mere hope of success; when the threat is severe, it requires boldness, audacity, and concentration on strengthening the fight when the going gets tough. To dare is not the foolish and frivolous game of children. It is a plan with a vision, driven by an understanding of the risk vs. reward ratio, the confidence in the capabilities that make it possible, and the necessity of achieving the goal. Sometimes, we have to fight fiercely without knowledge of the full reward for victory, and that inspires a special spirit, and the excitement of taking a flight into an unknown sky.
