VIII/70. Humanity
The essence of life is connection to all humanity.
If we remember what all humanity has given to us as individuals, we will know that the best thing for us, in sickness or in health, is to find, nourish, and draw upon the best of those connections. Other people, from the person we love the most to distant organizations barely aware of our existence, are what keep us alive. We cannot survive, certainly not fight in isolation, without that emotional suffusion.
––John Roberts
The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
–-–Robert Frost, “Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening,”
New Hampshire, 1923
I am done
with great things and big things
with great institutions and big success.
And I am for
those tiny, invisible, molecular moral forces
that work from individual to individual
through the crannies of the world
like so many rootlets
or like capillary oozing of water
yet which, if you give them time
will rend the hardest monuments of man’s pride.
––William James
He must have “character,” which simply means that he knows what he wants and has the courage and determination to get it. He should have a genuine interest in, and a real knowledge of, humanity, the raw materials of his trade, and, most of all, he must have what we call the fighting spirit, the will to win.
––Field Marshall Sir Archibald P. Wavell,
Trinity College, Cambridge, 1939
Cancer tends to cause some of us to withdraw from life. We grow isolated, tending to our disease and our severely wounded heart. We may not have close loved ones to care for us, we may be bitter or depressed, unable to enjoy the gifts of life, unable to relate to others in our normal happy way. We may be disconnected from society, even from the team that has been formed to save us.
Other great mammals, such as great apes, elephants, and dolphins, place high value, an imperative of life, on their emotional association with others of their kind. Indeed, some of them have been seen to agonize or die from imposed loneliness or the grief of losing a precious mate or family member. Many humans have that same comforting instinct. One for all and all for one insures our natural survival. If that is not part our essential make-up, we must find it and use it. It could be one of the most important factors in our fight against cancer, along with the primary treatment itself and our own emotional strength and will to live.
This, of course, goes far beyond our near loved ones; it includes all manner of people and groups that make up part of our cancer-fighting team as well as many near and far who provide us with a variety of human experience. Personal contact with many people seems to infuse us with their enthusiasm, spirituality, and positive attitudes, all important ingredients in our fighting will to live.
Our self-respect, that essential ingredient that I emphasize for all lives, derives from our appreciation of our place in humanity, far beyond mere accomplishments or the absence of bad qualities. A penetrating and honest appreciation of what we are is required if we expect others to respect and care for us. In our illness, we want much more than mere pity. If we feel that we are a valued part of the community of life, we may more easily fight to remain a part of it. We accept our imperfections, and others will too if we try to earn and give forgiveness and love. We cannot leave this world in a peaceful way if we think only of our failures and weaknesses. Others will respect our self-respect.
